Introducing FLOP: The Forced Learning Opportunity
We’ve all been there. You miss a deadline. Forget an important meeting. Lose your keys for the third time this week. And that familiar voice starts up: “I’m such a failure. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just get it together?”
But what if I told you, you didn’t fail, it FLOPped?
What Is a FLOP?
A FLOP is a Forced Learning Opportunity. It’s what happens when we stop seeing our perceived failures as proof that something’s wrong with us, and start seeing them as chances to learn something new about ourselves, our brains, or our systems.
Instead of saying “I failed,” you say “It FLOPped.” And that simple shift changes everything.
FLOPs can look like:
Forgetting to pay a bill (again)
Double-booking yourself
Starting a project at the last minute
Losing track of time and missing an appointment
Realizing your current system just isn’t working
Avoiding a task you “should” be doing but can’t seem to start
The beauty of a FLOP is that it’s not about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about getting curious instead of getting critical.
From “I Failed” to “It FLOPped”
Here’s what I see in my coaching practice: nearly every client comes to me feeling like a failure. They’ve tried everything. Nothing sticks. They’re convinced something is fundamentally broken about them.
But here’s the truth: You didn’t fail. It FLOPped.
And there’s a huge difference.
When you say “I failed,” you make it about you, your worth, your character, your abilities. It becomes personal. Shameful. Proof that you’re not enough.
But when you say “It FLOPped,” you make it about the situation. The system. The approach. It becomes data. Information. A chance to try something different.
“I failed” keeps you stuck. “It FLOPped” moves you forward.
Why ADHD Brains FLOP More Often (And Why That’s Okay)
Here’s something important to understand: if you have ADHD, you’re going to experience more FLOPs than your neurotypical peers. And that’s not because you’re doing something wrong, it’s because of how ADHD affects executive functions.
Executive functions are the brain’s management system. They help us plan, manage time, remember tasks, regulate emotions, shift focus, and control impulses. When you have ADHD, these functions are impaired. Not broken, impaired. Your brain is working harder to do things that come more easily to neurotypical brains.
So yes, you might forget more appointments, lose track of time more often, struggle with systems that “should” work, start things at the last minute, or feel overwhelmed more quickly.
But that doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you someone whose brain needs custom strategies and systems that accommodate YOUR ADHD.
Every time something doesn’t go as planned? That’s not proof you’re broken. That’s a FLOP or a forced learning opportunity to figure out what your brain actually needs.
Why FLOPs Matter for ADHD Brains
For those of us with ADHD, traditional advice often falls flat. We’re told to “just try harder” or “be more organized,” as if willpower alone could rewire our neurology. But ADHD brains work differently and that’s not a flaw, it’s a factor we need to consider.
When things don’t go as planned, we’re quick to label ourselves as failures, and that is an emotional reaction. But if you pull back and look at all the data, these moments aren’t failures at all. What if you reframed these moments and thought of them as FLOPs or opportunities to discover what your unique brain actually needs?
FLOPs give us permission to:
Separate the facts from the feelings.
Yes, you missed the meeting. That’s a fact. But it doesn’t mean you’re lazy, irresponsible, or a failure.Get curious, not critical.
What got in the way? What was hard? Was it your calendar system? A lack of memorable reminders? Overwhelm?Experiment with what works for YOUR brain.
Maybe digital calendars don’t stick, but a paper planner does. Maybe you need three alarms instead of one. Maybe you need buffer time between tasks. Maybe you need to talk it out with someone.
The truth is, you need systems that work for how your unique brain operates, not necessarily ones that you feel “should” work. So when those systems don’t work for you, it’s not a personal failing, you just haven’t found the right one…yet. And FLOPs help you identify what helps you do the thing and feel good about yourself.
From Shame to Curiosity
Here’s what happens when you start seeing perceived failures as FLOPs: you move from shame to curiosity. From stuck to experimenting. From “What’s wrong with me?” to “What does my brain need?”
And that’s when real, sustainable change happens.
Instead of replaying the same patterns and beating yourself up each time, you start collecting data. Each FLOP teaches you something about how your brain works, what systems support you, and what strategies actually stick.
There’s Another Way to Look at It
If you’ve been feeling like a failure, if you’ve tried system after system and nothing seems to work, I want you to know: there’s another way to look at it.
You’re not failing. It’s FLOPping. And every FLOP is giving you information about what doesn’t work for your brain, which gets you one step closer to discovering what does.
Your Turn
Think about a recent moment that felt like a failure. What if you reframed it as a FLOP? What if it didn’t fail, it just FLOPped? What could you learn from it?
This week, I challenge you to catch yourself the next time something doesn’t go as planned. Before the shame spiral starts, say to yourself: “I didn’t fail. It FLOPped. This is just data, not a disaster.”
See what shifts when you give yourself permission to learn instead of judge.
Coming up next: In the next post, we’ll dive into one of the most common FLOPs, task avoidance, and why it’s actually giving you important information about what your brain needs.
Feeling like a failure? You’re not. You just need strategies that work with your brain, not against it. Book a free 30-minute exploratory call and let’s turn your perceived failures into FLOPs and your FLOPs into wins.
